On My Mind

While at work, I came across this book.  It was my favorite book back in elementary school and I haven’t seen it since then.  I was flipping through the book, half proud of how I was able to read a book like this at such a young age and half thinking about all the things I’ve gone through since I read this book.

It’s crazy to think that it’s been about 11 years since I left elementary school.  11 years of so many experiences, so many ups and downs, so many life changing moments, so many of everything.  Seeing this book made me realize, you know what Mallory, you’re not a kid anymore.  You’re about to graduate from college.  You’re an adult now.  No more hiding behind studies.  You need to go out there and make a name for yourself.  Is school really just… over?  I mean, there’s grad school, but that’s just a different feeling all together.  I’ve been going to school for 18 years of my life, now it’s all about to change.

I love college.  I love always being around friends, being able to hang out whenever I want, having late night adventures, sitting around doing nothing, skipping class (sometimes!), learning, and all the extra curricular activities.  Those are the things I will miss about college.  Maybe I’ll end up missing the homework and the studying, but thinking about it right now, I’m going to miss all the socializing.  Is post grad life going to be completely different?  I don’t know.  I guess that’s something I will have to find out for myself.

I’m excited to graduate though.  I’m turning to a new chapter in my life.  One that’s going to be really exciting and adventurous, and I can’t wait.  The only people I’ve told so far about what’s going to happen are the people who are closest to me.  These are the people that know how hard I’ve worked over the past 4 years.  The ones that know about all the tears and anger I’ve pushed through, all the days when I woke up in the morning thinking, I can’t do it.  I want to quit.

It’s kind of crazy that this one book made me start thinking about life, but I think there are random objects or people out there that make just nostalgic.  And this happened to be one of those objects.  It’s a symbol, not of the past, but of the future.  Of all the amazing experiences I have to look forward too.  I’m proud of all the things I accomplished in college.  When I started college, I told myself I would do the following:

  • Study Abroad
  • Dean’s List
  • Do research
  • Join a club
  • Be a board member in that club
  • Find an internship
  • Find a job
  • Have a professor know me by name
  • Find a cute boy

I did all of that.  And I learned so many great things from all of those things!  Sometimes I have no idea how somethings happened, like becoming the Co-President of a club.  When I was in high school, I never even dreamed that I would become a leader.  I was too quiet and I HATED talking in front of people.  I still don’t really like talking in front of people, but it’s a must.  It’s something that we have to do all the time.  I will carry all the things I’ve learned from these experiences onto the next chapter of my life.  It’s time to set new goals.  I’m going to take it a few years at a time and see where my experiences take me.  I have a few goals in mind right now, but I’m completely open to learning and growing.  I want to continue to learn and grow, because, does it really ever stop?  Adulthood, I’m coming for you at full force!

And this whole thing about not being a kid anymore?  I’m totally still a kid at heart.  I mean, look at how much I love Disney and cute things and stuffed animals.

Thank you BFG, sometimes you need a little kick of reality.

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