Another “See You”

Sweet Smores

See you.  The words I end every English class with and words I said to Mark when I left for Japan.  It wasn’t a goodbye for us, it was a see you later.  And it was a see you later.  Mark’s dad was so kind to buy Mark a ticket to Japan for his birthday and we were able to spend 2 1/2 weeks together after being apart of 5 months.  Those weeks were probably among the best 2 1/2 weeks I’ve had so far since I got here.  Unfortunately, those weeks flew by and I had to say see you to Mark again.  This time, we only have to wait 2 months before seeing each other again, since Mark is starting his position as an English teacher in March!  I couldn’t be happier and excited for him.  He wanted this opportunity and I’m so proud that he was accepted into his program  We’re still not sure where he’s going to be placed, but he will probably find out within the next week or two, so fingers crossed!

I’ve been feeling sad and empty all day.  Mark left today (or yesterday, once I post this) and the way we said our see you’s wasn’t how I pictured it would be.  I really wanted to go to the airport with Mark and see him off, being able to spend up until the last second with him before he went through security.  Of course, life doesn’t work the way you want it to sometimes.  I had a taiko performance in the morning and I found out the night before that I had to rehearse at 8:40 am.  There was no way I could go to the airport with Mark or even take him to the bus stop.  Mark told me he was fine going to the airport by himself, but I still wanted to go.  When I woke up, I saw that it was snowing and called a friend from taiko to drive me to the community center where we were performing.  She told me that she’d be at my apartment in 10 minutes.  10 minutes?!  Seriously?!  I’m half dressed and Mark is packing!  When she got to my apartment, it was time to part ways all of a sudden.  Already?  This can’t be the last day!  We really have to leave each other right now?  This is last time we’ll see each other in 2 months?  We gave each other a hug and kiss, exchanged some dialogue, and said our see you’s.  I was on the verge of tears…  Then I walked out the door.  I wanted to burst out and cry.  I wanted to skip the performance.  I wanted to make it snow so hard, no one could go anywhere.  I wanted to call the airlines and have them cancel that flight, so Mark couldn’t go home.  My heart was sinking, but I had to hold it together.

I did my performance and when I came home,  I came home to my empty apartment.  I burst into tears.  It really happened.  Today was the last day and I just walked out door this morning like it was just a regular day.  I loved coming back to Mark at my apartment and being able to have someone to talk to, to have a fun time with just lounging around.  Now, it’s so quiet and cold.  It makes me sad.  This feeling will probably go away in a few days once I get used to living by myself again, but in the meantime, having to say see you again was really hard.  It was just as hard to say see you this time, if not, even harder.  It was especially hard because of the how quickly we had to part ways, but I’m so thankful for our time together.  These past 2 1/2 weeks ignited another spark in our relationship as we felt refreshed and new.  We were in a new environment together which called for so many discoveries and adventures.  Every second of everyday was an adventure for us.  There were just so many things to experience together from eating ramen all the time to guiding Mark to see his first shrines.

I learned that the distance isn’t a giant boulder that you can’t move in a relationship, but one of those track and field hurdles.  There will be some bumps a long the way, but in the long run, it’s all worth it.  Your love and dedication to each other along with your goals with your partner will help you work through the distance.  The distance has helped us make our relationship stronger.  We’ve had to become more open and understanding about so many things, especially when you have minimal time to talk.  We’ve become better people and better partners.  These next two months will help us grow even stronger as we work towards our relationship goal.  After these two months, we will be living in the same country and we’ll have the opportunity to travel, eat, and experience so many things together and we couldn’t be happier.

8 comments

  1. Amy @ the tide that left

    Oh sweetie, I was there several times over the year that I was apart from Mr Tide and I know how tough it is. I really feel for you, and I know you’ll probably find the next few days quite difficult. Keeping yourself occupied can help (I wasn’t very good at though) as well as making sure you guys try to talk as often as possible. Like you said, these times are really special for a couple in a long distance relationship. Use them to carry you through the next couple of months. It feels like forever right now, I’m sure, but in the scheme of things it’s nothing…..and then he’s staying! I hope he’s placed as close to you as possible. Keep your chin up xxx

    • Mallory

      Thanks so much for your kind words Amy! You’re so sweet :) Fortunately/unfortunately I’ve been really busy at work the past couple days, so that’s helped keep me occupied. I’ve also been trying to keep myself busy by researching place to travel. Looking back on the first five months that we were apart, we’ve come a long way in those months and knowing that we overcame them is more motivation to be able to make it through a shorter two months.

  2. FoundLove_Blog

    Oh Mallory, I hope that you are doing a bit better. I know just how you are feeling…returning to your apartment and feeling that it is empty, that you are going through the motions but your heart misses your other. This is the only piece of advice I can give you: This WILL make you and your relationship stronger. It WILL make you appreciate every single second you talk to Mark on the phone, or reunited in two months.

    Chin up, and stay busy…. Soon enough, the time and distance apart will be nothing!

    • Mallory || Sweet Smores

      I’m feeling better now, thanks Belinda! :) I think the initial shock of all of it happening so quickly made me sadder than usual. I’m looking forward until the next time we can see each other, knowing that February is a shorter month and that he’ll be here sooner than I know it. And you’re totally right, I feel like I’m appreciating our video chats even more now after we parted ways this time. Not that I didn’t cherish them before, I just feel that I shouldn’t take any second for granted while we talk since I know how important and self/relationship strengthening our talks are.

  3. Allison

    Hi Mallory! Thanks for stopping by my blog! :) I guess you know by now that I can’t relate to the long distance thing, but my heart went out to you on the rushed good bye! Those aren’t the kinds of things that one wants to feel rushed through. I hope that this time apart will just fly by for the two of you!

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