See you. The words I end every English class with and words I said to Mark when I left for Japan. It wasn’t a goodbye for us, it was a see you later. And it was a see you later. Mark’s dad was so kind to buy Mark a ticket to Japan for his birthday and we were able to spend 2 1/2 weeks together after being apart of 5 months. Those weeks were probably among the best 2 1/2 weeks I’ve had so far since I got here. Unfortunately, those weeks flew by and I had to say see you to Mark again. This time, we only have to wait 2 months before seeing each other again, since Mark is starting his position as an English teacher in March! I couldn’t be happier and excited for him. He wanted this opportunity and I’m so proud that he was accepted into his program We’re still not sure where he’s going to be placed, but he will probably find out within the next week or two, so fingers crossed!
I’ve been feeling sad and empty all day. Mark left today (or yesterday, once I post this) and the way we said our see you’s wasn’t how I pictured it would be. I really wanted to go to the airport with Mark and see him off, being able to spend up until the last second with him before he went through security. Of course, life doesn’t work the way you want it to sometimes. I had a taiko performance in the morning and I found out the night before that I had to rehearse at 8:40 am. There was no way I could go to the airport with Mark or even take him to the bus stop. Mark told me he was fine going to the airport by himself, but I still wanted to go. When I woke up, I saw that it was snowing and called a friend from taiko to drive me to the community center where we were performing. She told me that she’d be at my apartment in 10 minutes. 10 minutes?! Seriously?! I’m half dressed and Mark is packing! When she got to my apartment, it was time to part ways all of a sudden. Already? This can’t be the last day! We really have to leave each other right now? This is last time we’ll see each other in 2 months? We gave each other a hug and kiss, exchanged some dialogue, and said our see you’s. I was on the verge of tears… Then I walked out the door. I wanted to burst out and cry. I wanted to skip the performance. I wanted to make it snow so hard, no one could go anywhere. I wanted to call the airlines and have them cancel that flight, so Mark couldn’t go home. My heart was sinking, but I had to hold it together.
I did my performance and when I came home, I came home to my empty apartment. I burst into tears. It really happened. Today was the last day and I just walked out door this morning like it was just a regular day. I loved coming back to Mark at my apartment and being able to have someone to talk to, to have a fun time with just lounging around. Now, it’s so quiet and cold. It makes me sad. This feeling will probably go away in a few days once I get used to living by myself again, but in the meantime, having to say see you again was really hard. It was just as hard to say see you this time, if not, even harder. It was especially hard because of the how quickly we had to part ways, but I’m so thankful for our time together. These past 2 1/2 weeks ignited another spark in our relationship as we felt refreshed and new. We were in a new environment together which called for so many discoveries and adventures. Every second of everyday was an adventure for us. There were just so many things to experience together from eating ramen all the time to guiding Mark to see his first shrines.
I learned that the distance isn’t a giant boulder that you can’t move in a relationship, but one of those track and field hurdles. There will be some bumps a long the way, but in the long run, it’s all worth it. Your love and dedication to each other along with your goals with your partner will help you work through the distance. The distance has helped us make our relationship stronger. We’ve had to become more open and understanding about so many things, especially when you have minimal time to talk. We’ve become better people and better partners. These next two months will help us grow even stronger as we work towards our relationship goal. After these two months, we will be living in the same country and we’ll have the opportunity to travel, eat, and experience so many things together and we couldn’t be happier.
I’m taking a break from posting about my spring break trip to Disney World to do an Inspiration Sunday. I’ve finally decided on how to structure this post and I’m going to leave out the clothes and any other things I want, and save that for another section I’ll start. This is where I’ll post what inspired me the most throughout the week, ranging from something small to something big. I want to look at what happened and be inspired by what’s around me. I’m not that good at writing about my emotions, but I will work on it and hopefully through these posts I will improve!
This week, I was inspired the most by no other than, Mark. He always inspires me to be the best that I can be, but this week especially, showed me how much we’ve grown as people and as a couple.
I found out some good news (which I will talk about later in the month) about an opportunity that I’ve been dreaming about since the beginning of college. I got it. I still can’t believe that it’s actually going to happen, but it’s going to be a tough journey. I’m going to have to move very far away, possibly leaving him here. Mark and I knew it was going to be tough, but he supported me the whole way and still supports me now.
I’ve never been so happy to have a guy like Mark in my life. He’s letting me follow my dreams, even if it means that we’ll be apart. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be with him more than anything in the world and I start tearing up at the thought of us being apart. It feels like someone is punching me straight in the heart. This guy is my best friend and I love him very much.
We had a conversation about the future and we told each other, “Don’t let me hold you back from achieving your dreams. You don’t want to regret not doing something you want to do.” Over the past year and a half, we’ve grown so strong together. We’ve learned a lot about sacrifice and compromise. It takes a lot of courage and trust to be able to be able to do these things. LIFE IS HARD. But we can get through this. I know we can. I know that the best will come out of it and we’re not stopping until we figure out the path that is the best for both of us.
Mark also wants to do what I’m going to do, so we’re both searching for opportunities he can apply for, but in the meantime, we’re going to cherish every moment we have together and make these last months in college (or while he’s in college) the best.
Hey Mark, SMORES FOR LIFE.
Recently, Mark and I ordered hand stamped necklaces from The Vintage Pearl. We talked for a bit about why we wanted matching jewelry and began searching for jewelry that we could both wear, but we either found jewelry that was either too girly or too expensive. Then Mark came across this website (somehow finding it when he searched Ryan Gosling, not that that was a surprise,
fan boy) and we both liked what we saw. The necklaces were what we wanted and we could afford them. I’m really happy about how they turned out and they fit us well. It didn’t take as long as the company said it would take, which is always a plus.
The reason as to why we got these necklaces will remain to us. It’s an everyday reminder because we know what these two pieces of jewelry mean and symbolize to us. I wear his name and he wears mine.